Did you make a resolution this New Year? Do you think you’ll keep it the whole year? Have you failed to keep a resolution in the past? (If you are anything like me – of course you have!) According to research, nationally about 40% of people make New Year’s resolutions. Of that only 8% are successful in keeping them!
We are on the cusp of a brand new year. The calendar has reset itself and we have the chance to perhaps do the things that we wished we had gotten around to last year. At the root of this is the desire for self-improvement, to change our habits and to be the best version of “us” that we can be.
Then why do we fail at this so often? Why does it require so much willpower? We start off so strongly but in a couple of weeks we have fallen off the wagon. Why are resolutions so hard to keep?
One issue is that many of us set too ambitious a target, like say writing a novel. We shoot for the moon but fall back to earth. We have so many other priorities in our lives that such a daunting objective has no realistic chance of being attained.
Of course not all resolutions are so over-reaching. For example a lot of people set themselves the reasonable goal of getting back into shape.
I was in the gym yesterday evening. It was packed with people all like me presumably working off those extra pounds they’d gained over the holidays. We are all hell-bent on getting back into shape. But I’ve seen this picture before. I know that in a couple of weeks the gym will be a lot quieter. And whether everyone will have got themselves back into peak condition in the space of time is highly debatable.
So what’s happening here? In this case the goal of “getting into shape” is too vague. There isn’t a measurable target. And it’s very easy to give up on something if you were never really sure exactly what your goal was to begin with. So make your goal specific and measurable like giving up potato chips, or running a certain distance every week.
It’s hard to focus on a specific objective sometimes. Even as individuals we have multiple and often conflicting goals. We have long term goals and short term goals. Long term goals are like your life’s ambitions. The short term goals relate to immediate gratification. In the example above, the short term goal was losing a few pounds. And even if we do achieve that we quickly move on to something else that will give us immediate pleasure. And that helps explain why we so easily revert to our bad habits like eating junk food, candy, smoking or drinking alcohol.
To our detriment, instant gratification is easier to achieve than long term satisfaction.
So maybe to create a healthy habit, what we need to do is align our short term and long term goals.
How do we do that? Well from my experience the key is to make the activity something you can do frequently so it becomes familiar. People crave familiarity.
A personal example: One New Year I got the bright idea to start journaling because I heard that it was good for processing emotions and increasing self-awareness. But I found it difficult to get myself in a frame of mind to sit down and write for the required amount of time every day. There were too many distractions, and ultimately I didn’t enjoy doing it. So I would never do it frequently enough for it to become habit forming. I had made the wrong resolution.
But I have no problem getting out for a jog most evenings even when it’s raining or freezing cold. That’s because staying in shape is important to me and I enjoy running. For other people it would be the opposite – they would hate to go jogging yet could sit down and write for hours. It all depends on what is important to you. Choose the right goal; one that fits in with your own values and you’ll have no problem making the activity second nature like brushing your teeth.
Another way of motivating yourself is to make an announcement to friends and family. You can post updates on Facebook or Twitter. Your public persona is now inextricably linked to your resolution. Managing how people view us is an incredibly important motivator. At the least you can expect to be asked regularly how you are getting on with your resolution and that should help to keep you honest.
Now of course whatever you resolve yourself to do this year, you’ll face temptation at some point. If you have set yourself a traditionally tough goal such as quitting smoking or giving up alcohol it will surely test your willpower. In the words of writer and fellow runner Haruki Murakami “Pain is unavoidable. Suffering is optional”. Remember you can control your own feelings. If you must, bribe yourself with a guilty pleasure to motivate yourself, just so long as it doesn’t conflict with your goal. Binge watch your favourite TV show over the weekend if you manage to stay off the cigarettes.
The key point in all of this is the importance of making sure that whatever you choose as a resolution is specific, agrees with your values, is attainable and can be habit forming.
Our virtues and vices are not acts but habits and we become what we accustom ourselves to doing, through willpower.
Willpower is the ability to do what matters most to you, even when it’s difficult or when a small part of you doesn’t really want to do it. It is the strength to put long-term goals ahead of short term gratification. Once you master that, you will become part of that lucky 8% who can keep their resolutions.
Tom Cremins 